Typical
by jeti
Summary: Ever notice that all of the Duelist Kingdom episodes have the same basic storyline? no!? jeez, where have you been? well then, you ought to read this fic.


First off, I'd like to say that this is my first 'fic' on ff.net. I had the choice of putting up one of my humor fics first, or one of my many songfics. I could have put up my fic-song (different from a songfic, I assure you) or one of my yaoi fics. I could have put up my ancient Egypt fic or... well, I think you get the picture. I decided to put this one up first since it was the first one I typed.  
  
Well, if anyone hasn't noticed all of the Yu-Gi-Oh eps in duelist kingdom follow a pattern. Don't know what I'm talking about? Well, you will soon.  
  
Just a few things:  
  
Ryou and Jounochi say things with incorrect grammar (or rather in Ryou's case, painfully correct grammar). Why? This is how I spell their odd accents. Deal with it. (by the way, I exaggerate both of their accents A LOT).  
  
RD(WNSRAA) stands for 'Random Duelist (Who's Not So Random After All)' this refers to people such as Rex and Haga, who are defeated in a very satisfying manner and it seems to be the last we'll ever see of them, but then it turns out that they keep returning later in the series to receive another trouncing. This person is in this story, you can pretend that they're anyone.  
  
And this will be in script format, for all of those who don't like that.  
  
Oh, and I exaggerate all of the characters quirks to a point that they might almost seem OOC. But they're not.  
  
Disclaimer: hmmm... maybe my dear ol' friend zipandel can help me out with this one. zipandel?  
  
zipandel: yes?  
  
jeti: what's my name?  
  
zipandel: um... *wonders if this is a trick question* jeti.  
  
jeti: right! And who owns Yu-Gi-Oh? *hands zipandel a piece of paper*  
  
zipandel: *reads off of paper* Kazuki Takahashi.  
  
Jeti: right! So there you have it folks, Kazuki Takahashi owns Yu-Gi-Oh, and I'm not him. So, I don't own it! Nyah!  
  
'Kay, on with the fic!  
  
Yugi: hey! I'm out on an island in the middle of nowhere during the school year! And I'm with all of my friends, who should not even be here! And no one seems to notice that they weren't invited, despite their lack of dueling gloves!  
  
Ryou: wait! I don't believe that I wasn't invited! Even though I do not have a dueling glove, I did not have to sneak onto the ship to duelist kingdom like Honda and Anzu did!  
  
Yugi: that's right! But you have a British accent, so I'm going to just ignore that fact and treat you as if you weren't invited anyway!  
  
Jou: I wasn' invited, but I gotta duelin' glove. Where'd that com' from, all you gave me was a dinky lil' star chip!  
  
Yugi: I have no idea! That just appeared out of nowhere in the course of our trip!  
  
Ryou: how odd.  
  
Honda: I'm just going to do and say nothing of interest since I have no purpose here except to carry people around, or whack skeletons off of them.  
  
Yugi: and I'll just remain painfully optimistic even though I'm here because my grandpa's soul has been stolen through a TV and I'm being forced to fight in this tournament if I ever want to see him again!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): hey! I'm going to challenge you to a duel since you look short and easy to pick on, and your posse looks incredibly stupid also!  
  
Yugi: and I'll accept your duel and use my millennium puzzle to change into my taller, smarter, cooler alter ego that was really an ancient pharaoh but I don't know that yet even though he's trapped in an object that's shaped like an upside down pyramid!  
  
~he does the whole 'spinning in a vortex of Egyptian symbols' thing~  
  
Jou, Anzu & Honda: we'll just conveniently not notice that he's a different person even though it's impossible for him to grow that much in 5 seconds!  
  
Ryou: I will not notice his change even though I myself have a Yami and should recognize a change when I see one!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): I noticed, which you can see by my slight look of shock, but I will hide my surprise by making a snide (and lame) remark about Jounochi being like a dog or a dueling monkey!  
  
Jou: and I will get really angry and start yelling at RD(WNSRAA)!  
  
Honda: and I will restrain him even though he can't attack RD(WNSRAA) since he's on top of a dueling platform!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): and I will look slightly perplexed at all of this nonsense!  
  
Yami: and I will yell say something completely pointless about honor so that we can begin our duel!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): sure, but I challenge you to put up all of your starchips!  
  
Jou: uh oh Yug', that means that you won' have a chance to save yore grandpa if ya lose!  
  
Yami: I agree to your terms anyway!  
  
~they begin to duel~  
  
RD(WNSRAA): hah! I've used my superior knowledge of the game to get myself an easy lead that seems unbeatable!  
  
Yami: oh no! even though I've lived in a game shop all my life, I somehow have never seen this strategy! I will have to think a lot and try to use my opponents strategy to my own advantage!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): ha ha ha! I will laugh annoyingly and make some lame remark about how I can beat you easily and why don't you hand over your star chips now!  
  
Ryou: oh my! I will take away from the seriousness of this moment by making painfully obvious of the status of this duel that anyone could figure out by simply looking at their scores!  
  
Honda: and I will continue to stand here and do nothing of interest.  
  
Anzu: I will cheer Yugi (who I have not noticed is Yami) by ranting on and on about the importance of friendship, no matter how inappropriate it is for this time!  
  
Jou: an' I'll jus' stan' here an' agree with Anzu 'cuz I am an action character an' never say anythin' serious 'less it's by accident since I'm stereotyped as a' idiot!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): and I'll just continue laughing at you predicament, failing to notice that your friends mindless drivel have caused your turn to last over 10 minutes already!  
  
Yami: ha! Now I will lecture you on the heart of the cards and then prove that the heart of the cards is real by drawing my favorite card; the Dark Magician!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): no way, that is impossible, why would a twerp like you have such a powerful card!?  
  
Yami: because this isn't really my deck, it's Yugi's Grandfather's deck! *he pulls out the Dark Magician* ha! I have pulled out the Dark Magician!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): oh no, not that!  
  
Ryou: I will continue to take away the suspense by making more painfully obvious comments about the state of this duel!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): an I will say some junk about how you can't win!  
  
~the show goes into a commercial break~  
  
RD(WNSRAA): I will repeat the junk I said before the commercial break, just in case some people weren't listening the first time around!  
  
Yami: and I will stop stalling and play the Dark magician, along with the Magical box that will conceal the Dark Magician AND your strongest monster, but you won't notice since at this point you are confused by the fact that swords are flying into the Dark Magician's box!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): I am confused, why are you sacrificing your own monster!?  
  
Yami: I'm not sacrificing my monster, which you should know if you are already a good enough duelist to be on this island in the first place! Instead, I am sacrificing YOUR monster!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): oh no! my beloved monster!  
  
Yami: I will now make a stunning comeback by depleting most of your life points by using a Dark Magic Attack on you, despite the fact that anyone who plays the card game knows that if we started out with only 2000 life points a Dark magic Attack could completely demolish you!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): wah! I'm so upset about the death of my monster that I will now summon a monster so much stronger than the first one that it makes you wonder why I even bothered with the other one in the first place!  
  
Yami: but that's to add suspense to the show, without these duels there would be nothing of interest whatsoever!  
  
Honda: just like me! Only I wouldn't say that since that can be classified as being interesting and I do nothing of interest whatsoever.  
  
Ryou: and I will continue to make painfully obvious comments about the status of this duel!  
  
Anzu: and I will continue ranting even though it's obvious that Yugi (who I still haven't noticed is Yami) will win in his next turn!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): no way!  
  
Yami: yes, I will! *he flips over a magic card that just happens to be on the field* ha! This card completely takes out the rest of your life points!  
  
RD(WNSRAA): oh no! I will act like a sniveling little coward and try to weasel my way out of giving you my star chips, but end up doing so anyway! *gives Yami the starchips and stalks off*  
  
Honda: wow! That duelist is even worse than Jounochi!  
  
Jou: hey! I heard that! *stats 'shoving' Honda*  
  
Honda: hey, don't shove me even though you really punched me which is evident by the bruises on my face!  
  
Yami: I will completely ignore your childish antics and transform back into Yugi!  
  
~Transforms back into Yugi~  
  
Jou, Anzu & Honda: and we will still fail to notice his considerable change in size!  
  
Ryou: and I will still fail to notice those changes that I should recognize because I have a Yami of my own!  
  
Yugi: and I will say something cheesy and cute that will end the episode satisfyingly!  
  
~scene changes to Pegasus' castle~  
  
Croquet: I am such a minor character that most people do not even know my name. Oh, Boss, that Yugi Motou kid just beat someone again.  
  
Pegasus: *sips wine* I will pretend that you actually had to tell me that information even though I easily could have known that by using my Millennium Eye! We will meet soon, little Yugi! And now I shall laugh insanely. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! *sips more wine*  
  
~scene change to Kaiba~  
  
Kaiba: gah! I must continue looking for Mokuba even though I know exactly where he is: in Pegasus' castle!  
  
~scene change to Mokuba~  
  
Mokuba: I will act sad and sit here in this dungeon and wait for my brother to rescue me.  
  
~scene change back to Yugi & co.~  
  
Yugi & co.: we will continue acting painfully optimistic!  
  
~end~  
  
So there you have it folks, that is the main plot behind all of the battle city eps. Sure, sometimes Mokuba & Seto aren't even mentioned, sometimes Ryou isn't there even though Mai might be, and sometimes the duels are more interesting than what I have shown. But this is the basic storyline.  
  
zipandel: that was a completely worthless waste of 6 pages of writing.  
  
jeti: yeah, I know. Whatever. Hey y'all, make my life worthwhile by reviewing, please? And while you're at it, go read my other stories (on FictionPress).  
  
Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze? 


End file.
